Self Nurture and it’s Importance

Hey!! How is it going?

Do you ever pause and ask yourself this question?

I believe that’s the first step towards Self nurture.

It helps start a conversation with yourself, enabling you to understand your needs better. It helps you build a connection with yourself.

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”

Rumi

What does Self Nurture mean to me ?

In order to understand Self nurture, I thought of breaking it down the word and looking at the meaning of the words individually.

Nurture means to take care of, look after someone or something, encourage their development and cherish it. Self is a person’s essential being that sets them apart from others.

The same care, development and attention when applied to self, would be referred as Self-nurture.

I initially had a bit of difficulty understanding the concept of Self-nurture and struggled with the concept. It took a while for me to fully the comprehend the idea of Self- nurture. I have over the years grasped the importance of self-nurture and gradually learnt to show myself the same encouragement, I would show to something/someone I am nurturing.

When we nurture something or someone, it is regarded as an act of selflessness, something to look up to. In eastern philosophy, we have always been taught that taking care of others comes first. So the question that comes up then is why self-nurture is not an act of selfishness or self-indulgence.

As human beings we have a need or desire for love and care for ourselves in the same way as we would desire from someone else. So showing the love and care to yourself, which you expect from someone else is not indeed self-indulgence.

Simply put, if we don’t give love, care, and encouragement to ourselves, we will not be fulfilling our physiological and psychological needs. It will stop us from leading a fulfilling life. We will end up feeling burnt out, depressed, or feel a void.

Self- nurture helps in reducing stress from our lives. Unfortunately, stress has become an integral part of our modern lifestyle. It is imperative we take care of ourselves and practice self-nurture to maintain our sanity and well-being in this chaotic world.

What part does self- nurture play in my life ?

A few years back I was involved in a project at work. I let the project takeover my daily life. I continued to push myself, even when I would show signs of physical tiredness – I would eat at odd hours, sometimes skipping my meals and sleep.  I would silence the signs my brain was sending to my body and tell myself to work hard and get on with things. I ended up having severe episodes of headaches, which I would try & ignore and physically try and push through the pain. One day at work I reached a state where I could no longer physically function, a thumping headache and a blurry vision brought me to a grinding halt.

I recall the words of a wise and worried friend “ Nothing in this world is worth or more valuable than you. And you need to realise that first. These deliverables they can wait or someone else can pick that up. In the bigger scheme of things what matters is only you. “

Her words did make me stop and reassess the hectic lifestyle I was leading then. It made me realise I was functioning on autopilot, without much engagement and most importantly I was missing out on the joy of living.

It has been a wonderful journey and learning since then on; of listening to myself and of self-discovery.  

Self-nurture for me is a simple tool, which helps me ground and connect with myself; helping nurture myself and find the right nutrient/healing my mind and body needs. Self-Nurture is a step towards self-care.

Self-nurture is a buzz word that has been floating around everywhere for a few years. Every now and then it pops up in news articles, on the internet, and on social media.  It is a buzz word indeed, but it certainly emphasises the importance of it.

In my experience and understanding, Self-Nurture must be according to our individual nature, needs and requirements.

I have observed over the years my mother’s idea of self-nurture is following a routine and schedule. Especially after my father’s death, the routine helped her channel her energy and gave her a sense of direction.  She would stick to specific times to shower, eat her breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She would have a specific time to pray and read her weekly magazine. She would take a nap in the late morning, helping her to physically recover.

As a teenager I was fascinated by her practice although I did not entirely understand it at that time. But today as a grown-up woman, I can totally recognize the importance of routine and rituals, giving the day some structure and layout.

My idea of routine and rituals are entirely different from my mother’s routines. Having strict timelines and deadlines makes me anxious, perhaps it has to do with the nature of my work which is quite time bound and follows the clock every day. But I do take a leaf out of my mother’s book. I like to begin my day with a sense of calm and quiet, I like to begin my day with a cup of coffee and sipping it quietly, wrapping my fingers around the warm mug coffee gives me a sense of comfort and calm.

Self-Nurture as a practice for me

Self Nurture is an everyday act for me. Just as a plant needs water, Sun and nutrients based on its requirement, my nurturing needs change based on my requirements.

I need to show the care, love, encouragement, and belief to nurture myself in varying degrees. I need to be kind and gentle on myself, respect my physical and emotional needs. It requires me to eat and rest well, set healthy boundaries, and learning to say no.

I sincerely believe we need to show the same kindness and tenderness towards ourselves and truly believe in our hearts that we deserve the love and kindness.  Self-Nurture may be required more in times of struggle, but most certainly is a daily practice.

Self-nurture does not have to be complicated or extremely elaborate or expensive. I will share some of my simple steps of self-nurture which helps me find a sense of calm and to ground myself.

1. Holding a cup of warm coffee or Tea and watching the steam rise from the cup.

2. Watching a Sun Rise with a loved one, sitting in silence gazing at the changing colours of the sky.

3. I try and learn something new every year. I am someone who can very easily slip into comfort zone and run on an auto pilot. Learning something new helps me challenge myself, brings me out of my shell. I have started to learn Water colour painting. I look at YouTube vidoes and practice. I love watching the colour running from the brush on to the paper and taking shapes. My goal here is not to become like Monet, but try and find what brings joy to me and my life.

4. One of my favourites is to look at old photos and albums. It’s a wonderful way of reliving some of my fond memories and notice how I have evolved and changed over the years. It gives me a sense of achievement, and sometimes it reminds me to be kind to myself.

5. Going on walks in parks and woods. Nature has always a calming effect on me, so a walk in the woods is always refreshing and rejuvenating.

6. I love to read and find books are a perfect companion for self-nurture.

7. Flowers and arranging them in vase gives me immense peace and joy. And they add a pop of colour in the room. Sometimes when I am having a tough day, looking at the flowers and their fragrance helps me find a sense of calm.

8. Cooking while listening to music is my favourite go to.

9. I have lunch dates with my husband, and sometimes I have girls day out with my friends.

Self Nurture is a state of mind, a belief in yourself, that you are worth the respect and you deserve to be peaceful, happy and joyous. I believe it is a steppingstone for self-care and helping you reconnect to your authentic self and thrive.

In the words of the famous author Oscar Wilde.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”